Counting Calories | pinkcorsage's Blog

Okay, so at first I was completely against ProANAMIA sites, avoiding them like the plague.  But the other day I had to google: hiding anorexia.  I don't want people knowing.  Especially since I think Joe is becoming more and more suspicious since live together, he can see when I do and don't eat.  Quite a few pro ana sites came up in the searches, and of course I looked.  And after reading a lot of the sites, it wasn't that bad.  All of the sites warned people that there were triggers on this site, so I didn't think it was that bad.  Come on, it's telling you to not enter if you think you can't handle it.  So yes: someone like me, probably would enter even if it was a bad idea, but I had to see what the tips were.  Some of the sites you had to actually create an account, which if you're not serious about it, you'll just leave the site.  I am not by any means advocating for Pro Ana, but I can see both sides of the spectrum now.

One of the sites stated that drinking really cold water helps.  So I've started doing that.  But the main thing that I found while looking to hide anorexia was counting calories.  Something I hadn't been doing and it also said exercise all of the time.  Another thing I hadn't been doing.

So what did I do today?  Count calories and exercise.  Counting the calories helps me realize that I can't eat this or that much better than before.  It'll also help me eat healthier.  Joe and I have both decided to become vegans, something we've been working towards the past year and half, but finally we are going to make the actual jump to veganism.  It also cuts out more suspicion on people's part on why I don't' eat nearly as much anymore.  Since vegans pretty much only eat plants.  Which of course have less calories than meat and potatoes.  

The only thing that I'm really worried about is that I won't actually lose weight.  I'll lose inches, but maybe not actual lbs.  So I will actually have to measure myself daily to ensure I'm losing fat.  I currently weighed in at 88.6 lbs today, but who knows how much that will change as I work out every single day.  I am also seriously making sure that I restrict calories with my calorie counting.  I think the lowest that I want to go down is 85 lbs.  No less.  Because that's too much.

Although, one thing that I also decided to help motivate me is having pictures of really nice toned models as my motivator tool whenever I think of eating too much.  It's only been a day, but so far it's working.  I don't want to be the flabby person that I was.  I think if I get toned everywhere I'll look so much better that just skinny because I'll burn so many more calories.

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