The Arrival | pinkcorsage's Blog

So I have good news and bad news.

The good news is:
I am now consistently at 88 lbs in the morning, ignore the .1-9 lbs.  (only 3 lbs from my goal weight)
My waist is now 21.5 (only 1.5 inches away from my goal waist line)

The bad news is:
My period started today.

Which is terrible for so many reasons.

1. It means that I'm still fat enough to have a period.  Any time you lose enough fat, you wont have enough period, because your body will realize that you can't sustain a baby, hence the period.
2. It will be a really tough week for me, because whenever I'm on my period after the first day, I usually pig out because I feel so terrible.
3. I also bloat badly on my period, which is surprising as I don't think I've gained too much water weight, although maybe I've just gotten skinnier so I can't see the bloat that I normally would get
4. This is the only time that I crave chocolate like nobody's business and it makes me feel better on my period.

This also makes me wonder if when I get to my GW, if I still continue to get periods because it's only three lbs difference.  It's not that I want to lose having periods, but it would be nice to skip a period every once in a while.  I really did think that I was underweight enough to not have a period.  Obviously I am not trying hard enough.  The good thing about being on my period is that the slight bloating that I think I've been getting will be gone soon.

The good news is that whenever I get on my period I feel so fat that I end up working out more than average to burn off more calories.  Today I did 500 jumping jacks and 600 crunches.  No actual cardio today because of the freaking flood of rain.  But I'm proud of myself for getting in that workout.

I want to work out my stomach more so that it looks even skinnier than it already does.  I weighed in this morning at 88.6 lbs.  But later today I weighed in at 88.4 lbs.  So who knows.  I've also decided to try to not purge for a week because it can cause you to get chipmunk cheeks and that's the last thing I need right now.  I also think I hurt my throat from throwing up so much.

I've already had to start wearing slightly looser clothes to hid the weight loss to most people.  Some people have noticed that I only wear one pair of jeans now (none of the others fit me, and I can't wear most of my dresses because they show my collar bone and my skinny shoulders off too much).  It's getting harder to hide some of the symptoms especially when I'm at the doctor's so much.  One of the nurses who took my blood pressure asked me why it was low, and I tried to make up some excuse, I know why it was low though, because of the diuretics.  For the most part, I can use the potential ulcer for the reason of my weight loss, but I know once the ulcer is healed I can no longer use that as a reason.

I like being able to feel my back bone or my ribs.  I like this feeling of skinny.  When I walk, my thighs don't touch.  I don't' have that unseemly pooch anymore (unless I drink a lot of water), I've gotten closer to what my actual size should be not that overweight 102-103 lbs.

My goals:
Goal weight: 82-85 lbs
Goal waist: 20 inches
Goal BMI: 17 %

Current weight: 88.6 lbs
Current waist: 21.5 inches
Current BMI 17.97

I'm so close to my goal.

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