Jeremy | pinkcorsage's Blog

I've always been the shy type.  I'm what most people term as an introvert.  I rarely ever step out of the confines of my own comfort zone.  But something about Jeremy allows me to move out of the comfort zone that I've so carefully constructed for myself.  We met a couple of weeks ago when I was at Walgreens with Joe.  Jeremy and Joe actually went to grade school together.  When I first met Jeremy, I noticed what a nice smile he has, even though he and Joe are the same age, he looks so much younger as if his life hasn't been full of the burdens that Joe has endured.  As I catch Jeremy's eyes in that first meet, his eyes light up.  And that's when I realize I want to get to know Jeremy better.  

I stopped at Walgreens planning on only getting a couple of things, in and out of the store in five minutes.  As I walk into the store I see that Jeremy is working today.  He sees me and his smile makes me smile.  I naturally move towards him to say hello.

He asks how I've been and as I'm answering I catch him giving me the elevator eyes.  I kind of want to chuckle as his cheeks go slightly red.  I like the attention and it makes me feel better about myself knowing that he finds me attractive.  Before we can really talk anymore, a customer comes up to talk to him about where the cigarettes are.  Or so I thought.  When I was in another aisle, Jeremy came and found me and told me the woman asked for money from him.  It is there we talk about the crazy things we've encountered from working in customer service.  As we talk about the previous jobs we've had, he asks about Joe.

I tell him Joe and I met 7 years ago, we dated for 4 of those years, and we're now friends.  Jeremy absorbs this information and I can't tell if he's happy by this or not.  I then attempt to sneakily ask him about his own significant other, but I think he misinterprets the question and replies that his family doesn't mind his late hours, why would they.  The five minutes I planned on staying in the store turned into an hour and in that hour, Jeremy and I have talked about where we grew up, where we went to school, previous jobs, chess, backgammon, and lastly bowling.

He mentions that we should go bowling together since I live near one.  Which leads to the next question, my number.  He states that at his job, they don't like them to have their cell phones on them and they need to check it in when they get to work.  So he pulls out a post it notepad.  I smile as he writes his full name and then his number down.  He then writes my name, and lets me write my number.  As I give him back the pad I look into his eyes, and I realize he's got such kind eyes.  

I don't know where this will lead, if we'll remain just friends, but I like this Jeremy.  He came into my life for a reason.  It is because of him, I am going to try to stop purging.  I'm starting to get the chipmunk cheek, and that's not attractive at all.  I see Jeremy as someone who is completely on the outside of my crazy life.

Maybe Jeremy and I won't be anything but friends, but I enjoy his friendship.  When I'm with him, I don't think about my eating disorder.  I don't worry about how fat I look in the mirror.  I can be myself with him.  Something I never expected to feel again after Joe.  I hardly know Jeremy, but something about him makes me feel like I've known him all of my life.  Maybe it's his personality.  Maybe it's how he smiles, or the way his eyes crinkle, the kindness he has.  I don't know.  But what I do know is that there was a reason we met.

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