5 Days | pinkcorsage's Blog

Anyone who is on myfitnesspal and would like to add me, my name is PinkCorsage on there as well.

More importantly, today marks the 5th day of not purging.  Honestly, I didn't think I'd make it this far.  I'm surprised I even did.  Each day that I go without purging I give myself a dollar.  And when I get a certain amount I'm going to spend that money on something, I don't know what yet.

The swelling in my cheeks has mostly gone down.  It's hard to tell because when I look at pictures before I started purging they still look thinner, but puffier.  If that even makes sense.  They do look more defined again, and I like that.  People have mentioned that my face looks thinner, and that makes me feel good about myself.  I may have stopped purging, but that doesn't mean I've stopped restricting.  I've just become more strict about what I can and can't eat.

My restrictions are:

No lactose or soy (this was an actual restriction before anorexia)
No beef, pork, chicken (etc - I actually can't beef, because of gastrointestinal problems - essentially I was a pescatarian before this)
No citrus - citric acid (oranges, even gum that is citrus flavored because it will give me canker sores - this is also another restriction before anorexia)
No greasy foods (foods with butter or creamy food, bacon is a really good example, fries).
No foods high in fat (Popeyes, McDonalds all that good stuff).
No foods cooked over a certain temp (so mostly raw foods - such as fruits or vegetables - carrots, broccoli).
Cannot be highly processed (donuts, twinkies, etc.).
Nothing too starchy (pasta, mashed potatoes, etc).
No alcohol
No caffeine and no carbonated beverages (This was another restriction before anorexia, and I haven't had these for over 3 years now).
No spicy foods (this one is hard, but it's doable, but living where I live, spicy food is everywhere).
Nothing too high in sodium (You know those ramen noodles?  Perfect example).

See?  So I may still be eating but with these restrictions it's easier to avoid most foods.  And most everyone accepts it as me just being particular.  Only few people think it may be anorexic like tendencies.  Joe doesn't seem to suspect as much now that I've stopped purging.  My mom doesn't either, but because of the original health issues back in October, it's easy to slot the food restrictions under that.

Restricting is a lot better than purging though, because with purging you risk gaining weight, which is what I was actually doing.  I couldn't lose any weight because of the fact that I was purging so much.  I do have to thank Jeremy for this.  He doesn't know it, but he's the one that made me want to stop purging.  That doesn't mean I dont' want to be fat, but I don't want my teeth to be bad looking either.  I'm eating less than 300 calories a day, and if I go over that, I make sure I work it off by working out twice as hard.  I've lost another half inch off my waist and its now 21 inches!  Only an inch away from my goal waist line.  And 2 lbs away from 85 lbs, my goal weight.  Then I'll be done.  No more weight loss.  Because then people will suspect and then I lose control of everything.